Here is a short screen capture of a sketch done during lunchtime. Took about 13 minutes. I saw a guy walking in the blowing snow while I drove to work.
Today is Deadline Day. D Day.
I welcomed it with stopping at a Tim Horton’s and buying a mocha for my sanity. I’m sure today will be a full on s#!+ show.
I will be sketching at lunch though. I think I’ll draw a scraggly bearded guy I saw while driving into the office this morning who was bucking the snow that was blowing at him. Gotta keep up these niches!
Last evening wasn’t too bad. A quiet one, watching some of MY videos on my phone while she watched her videos on the TV and frankly I wasn’t feeling the best from eating like garbage the day before so it was okay with me.
I came home to a dishes mess. I did some well half of the dishes yesterday morning with the extra time I had from the wife going into work early. I will not be making that same error in judgement. I arrived home not only to nothing more being done but pots and pans and bowls with chunks of food from what she ate, still left in them on the counter to solidify. I quietly did a bit of cleaning up while the anger I felt between my eyes gradually burnt off into a dull headache. Most defenders would say "you have to tell her"…a feat which I will not do. I will not tell an adult to be an adult. I will let you sit there and I will judge you from your actions. Is it healthy for a relationship? Probably not but oh well.
Anyway, the mocha is super tasty. 🙂
I did something odd at lunch today. I went out to the coffee shop after choke-ing down my food and wanted to draw. I wanted to sketch. I wanted to put on my Smudgeguard glove, turn on my Surface Pro 3 (which by the way is disgracefully dirty….which I will remedy with some glasses cleaner and cloth) and draw…
I had my usual horrible way of drawing. I sit there wondering what to draw….what to draw. What to…shoot I’m running out of time…so instead of drawing people I saw, I drew myself, if I was I suppose drawn from the barista side of the counter at my table with my beverage….I had my music going in my headphones, and I scribbled crazily things down.
It’s not the best drawing but what I DO like about it is that it was quickly tossed down, no thought and BARELY touched my ‘eraser’ and the perspective turned out okay.
I have to do more of these to restore my sanity due to stressors in my life.
Sitting here in my tiny bit of me time before I head into work here.
This week I will have to make a concentrated effort to start drawing things again. Whether it’s work or the wife at home that call for attention, it all tends to call away from me being able to be creative and literally JUST calls for me doing things for everyone else at the sacrifice of my own things and interests.
Overly dramatic? I don’t think so..
At work, they pay me to do my work and I absolutely continue to do so and it makes sense from both an employer and employee point of view. During lunches I do have an extra hour of time I can devote to things in my life, or rather creative things that I want to work on.
At home it tends to fall into the same bad pattern of get home, listen about work days and coworkers and then hope that it doesn’t turn into 4 hours of ranting about the subject which then brings us to bedtime in which case the day is over and I’ve got nothing to show for it except feeling a combination of drained from work, and a continued emotional drain after listening about these people that the wife just can’t deal with (no one in particular just everyone) not to mention the feeling that I’ve went another day, another week, another month without being able to do anything creative.
Sure there are weekends but there are chores to be done around the home as well as more attention and more talk about the people above that puts a damper and a fog on any kind of good mood or constructive or creative thought. I need to figure my way to shove my creativity back into my life once more. I can’t take classes, I can’t do much at home as the environment of being talked at angrily for 4 hours a night doesn’t help me think of creative dynamic characters to draw pictures of (aside from hot girls with big assets and a smile on their faces). I need to figure out what I CAN do and this may involve taking time off here and time off there half a day here, a full day there in order to have these creative breaks.
I guess this isn’t the most positive way to start off the week but I want to get moving on this as January is finally at an end, the deadline is tomorrow and I shall have some more free time back to be the creative me I’ve always wanted to be.
It’s been a good day so far. We rented the movie What About Bob?, was good to see again after many years. 🙂
It’s interesting too how I’m hearing how we should go out and do stuff…how we need to ‘find’ stuff to do…but the thing is if you aren’t able to figure out something you want to do without an outside thing to do…presented in front of you, you’re not going to find something to do.
I’d have plenty of things I want to do…but she doesn’t like to do those things…so then it’s left to her which then in her frustration tells me that we never do much…
If it were my choices I’d do the following things:
-go browse bookstores
-go for coffees
-go out for lunch
-go to art galleries
-work out perhaps at a gym or take some sort of classes together
I’m sure the only ‘acceptable’ thing is to go out for lunch…and then well she hates everyone as she’s said…so that leaves your current lifestyle….lying around the house waiting as the world goes passing by then complaining about not doing much…
What do other people do? They go out with friends or coworkers, they go out to events together, possibly join a gym, possibly go for drives and have a coffee or dessert out, go for walks together (not just around the neighborhood) etc.
For someone that won’t let me do things or doesn’t want to do anything ever but rant and rave, its’ surprising to hear that she wants to do things though not surprising that she’s finding nothing thus far….what does that say hey?
Last night turned out to be odd and intresting in some ways.
Discussions came up about how the wife wants to do more things. Wants to go out and see plays, or to more movies or out more. This was a surprise to me as in my view it’s never been ME that’s held this back.
Especially in this past year where things got out of hand (those of you that know me know what I’m talking about) and her biggest interest was to NOT do anything but fall asleep at 3pm on weekends and 7pm on week nights some nights.
Nothing would be more welcome in my life than us actually going out and DOING things rather than sitting at home and hearing complaints about a person’s work or the public or anything in negative land that has been the ongoing pattern for what seems like a millennia here…
Now because I like predicting the future (and no by predicting this it isn’t LEADING things this way) I can see things going one of two ways. The first way will be yes, we’ll go out to things, to see events, to go to theatres, plays, movies, out for things like normal couples seem to do and it’ll get her out of her slump (and me by association) OR the second way which will be I’ll plan things, she’ll not feel like it, and the idea of HERS will die real fast as what she currently is into (complaining and sleeping) is way easier.
Let this new experiment in 2017 begin.
One thing I finally got used to is having free time when she had a little too much fun and fell asleep.
Increasing tolerance just keeps her yammering now…
I can’t wait for next Friday where I can do some drawing and have some me time again. This deadlines got me irritated more than usual.