I wasn’t sure if I should share this but decided to. Note to self. Can’t wait for work…
So I experienced what would be considered some kind of mental ‘enough’ point where I completely lost it. Now before anyone calls the cops, I hurt nothing but my own hand.
After coming home with the pup, after having a good day and a good visit with my best bud online, after the rest of the day and after listening to the same old angry ranting person before she PTFO’ed again leaving me to let the new pup out 4 times (have since reduced it to 2 and still okay, soon to 1), it was around 2am and I just was exhausted. So freaking tired of the same old garbage rhetoric about the world from the SO’s view and her lack of ‘doing anything but getting tanked’ while I do all the lifting (not just the heavy), her passed right out again and me getting up to let the pup out again. Well the pup was so super tired (as was I lol, probably tired of listening to the SO’s bitching too) that when the poor fella just kept laying down on the grass outside and wouldn’t do anything…I’d try and try and try again but to no avail…I just felt insanely full of rage but was good, I didn’t do anything to the poor tired pup, no, I literally cried out, wound up, and punched a post on our deck as hard as I possibly could. I didn’t care, I hit the thing as hard as I could. I’m surprised and lucky that I didn’t break my hand not to mention my knuckles and so on. I took skin right off the knuckles and now my hand is deeply bruised but will be okay. I’m not certain that I didn’t break my hand so will book an x ray asap.
Of course the next day once conscious, she asks what the hell happened to my hand, I told her, her response was as her usual is “Well good thing we aren’t having kids or it’d be way worse”…yeah it’s not the pup, it’s not my work it’s not anything else in the world except for HER. She’s driving all of this, will not acknowledge any of it and just blames everyone (especially me) about just ‘over reacting’.
Anyways, it happened and not much I can do about it now. Just waiting for it to heal and waiting to go back to work and have some degree of predictability in it.
The new pup is doing really good. He started even going to the back door to be let out which is awesome and Iv’e ran outside with him 3 times today playing chase you, then chase me and so on.
She’s picked up a 750ml of vodka so not sure if tonight will be yet another night but mr mom will keep going, keep pushing and so on. (EDIT: She’s out cold on the couch again. 2nd EDIT: she’s too sick to go into work today. Not I with 3 hours of sleep…Im still going)
Just hope I didn’t do too much hand damage to where I won’t be able to draw without pain…
I think this is now the line where I say stuff.