Ya Think?

I swear today has been one of those days that’s used all my brain power to get nothing done…

It’s also a night where the wife told me she hadn’t slept all night (not sure I believe that) so will go to bed early tonight. We have a few things to do tonight in preparation for tomorrow’s road trip, namely a bit of cleaning.

She got home already as she left 2 hours earlier than I (though we both woke up at the same time) and the one pup who has pads in his house to catch his um stuff, uses them usually lately on a daily basis. Not a big deal, just is what it is, put on the gloves and place in the garbage. Voila. I get texts telling me how tired out she is and how she’s ‘too tired’ to clean up the pads so asking if I can do it since she’s so tired out.

Do you think this would work had I said the same thing?

I seem to recall me doing dishes in extreme pain on my knees in the kitchen when I had such a bad back muscle spasm that it took me a few weeks to recover. She wouldn’t do them? Well she’s tired from dealing with her coworkers that she hates and the drivers that she hates, and also didn’t sleep at all though didn’t get up and disturb me (by turning the light on and stomping around and grabbing food from downstairs and talking to the pups as she usually would HAD she been awake).

My day must not have been tiring at all. Well can’t be. Not compared to hers. She started out the day saying she’s going to bed early tonight since she’s tired from not sleeping. She will say the same tonight and thus I will be the one to pack the dogs in the truck and drive the 6 solid hours to her parents place thus arriving at about 12:30am. I can’t say I’m tired though. She’ll ALWAYS be more tired.

This is exactly why men die sooner than women.

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What you want a cookie?

Well last night I arrived home after doing a bunch of running around to find that she actually did some stuff around the house as far as cleaning wise goes.

She kept looking for validation and extreme thank yous from my side, telling me all of the stuff that she did before I got home and expecting I don’t know what.
You want praise for cleaning for the first time in probably a year? I just think of Chris Rock’s phrase from one of his comedy acts

“What do you want a cookie?”

I said the mandatory thank you for doing this, but that’s about all that I gave her. After so much soul sucking on a nightly basis and insulting every other person known to man and woman, I just didn’t have the energy to give a s***. Now if she keeps it up and actually pulls her weight around the house and cleans on a regular basis instead of just laying everything where it falls on the floor or counter… It would be a different story. Just like her walking on a treadmill and watching her calories right now, only time will tell if this is just an act or if it’s a change in lifestyle which I highly doubt.

This morning at least I got some drawing in as she had to go in an hour early so that meant that we were both up an hour earlier this morning. Now I think I will head into work and grab a coffee and see what I can get done today.

Irritated Me

I swear. I’ve been in the pissiest mood the past few days. I DO know the cause and she’s the one at home. The constant drain from listening to her constant anger at the world and everyone in it along with a busy time this week (that won’t stop until we’re into next week), along with zero help at the house with anything and everything being in a mess state has me in this mood.

It feels like I’m living with my old college roommates, and not the good ones, who would just live in a sty, clean or tidy nothing, are fine with the state of things I’ll call it (bathroom cleanliness anyone?) and just be fine day after day after day after day…and naturally I’d be the one to finally break and just clean things. Oh I would tell them it’s their turn, they just wouldn’t do it and wouldn’t clean it. It’s JUST like at home as well. What do you do when the other person simply just doesn’t care. Anyways, rhetorical question there. Listening on the way in to my enjoyable podcast The Larry Miller Show, I’d say toss her in Volcano Number 2?

I came in 10 mins early or so and started working on my art sketch at least. The one my buddy helped with so that has been a nice little break.

I need to tidy up my desk too as it’s a disaster (much like my life feels at the moment), so at least THAT can feel okay once it’s clean.

Time to get to it!

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage….Though Not Mine.

Ah a new morning and a new day! Thank crap.

Last night was a night filled with rageful rantings, anger, accusations and negativity from the wife.  I’m assuming her tipping the scales earlier at the doctor’s has her right pissed off….AT EVERYONE ELSE.

I was listening to people talk about negative people as myself and my best buddy have in the past and it’s abundantly clear. There are a TON of negative people in this world and that it’s not easy to deal with them on a constant basis. These are people that won’t take responsibility for anything and are like a vampire that sucks and robs a person of their energy.

Last night, even on the ‘forced walk’ since she saw the number at the doctor (by the way, she’s surprised? okay SCIENTIST) she was constantly pissed off complaining, not the typical night of making fun and talking shit about everyone but RAGEFULLY so.  There was even one family that we moved over to let go by as we had the dogs with us (at least they got a walk) that were all on their bikes together. Mother, father and two or three kids on bicycles. As they went by she remarks (and I know within earshot), “what family has time or energy to go riding bikes together” and was very disgusted.  I immediately retorted that we did as a family all the time. It was one of my best and favourite things growing up.  Getting all out in the evening after school or after work and just spending time with the family and usually we’d stop at a convenience store on the way back. I will have to think more on those times as I had forgotten until last night.

Anyway, she went on to say that SHE never got to go riding bikes with her parents, that they were always too busy, or not interested in it, or her mother wouldn’t be good on a bicycle or her father would be ripping the house apart to fix up in order to sell eventually (years down the road)…Again can I say it? I’m happy I got MY PARENTS?

She was bitching how she wasn’t looking forward to the family thing of hers this weekend and how she’ll just want to stay in the room and  not see her family and her mom and dad in front of the others that will share the rented large lake house type thing (like 4 bedrooms or something) will make fun of her. RELENTLESSLY. It reminded me of some two faced friends I had in school where you’d hang with them and they’d be normal actual human beings but when they were with other people they’d act like complete and utter pricks to you.  I’m not excusing my wife’s complaining or bitching not in any way.

It’s a head shaker that makes me so happy and so glad that I’m in even more contact with my family than I have ever had in my adult life. I will double down with tales like this that remind me how fortunate I am.

Even this morning, she dusted off her fit bit (as if that’s how she’ll lose weight…) and was pissed off that it’s not working anymore. *shrugs* What do you want from life. To fight it the whole entire way? That’s how you’re living it you know.

I’ll go on with enjoying mine thank you very much.

One thing I know is this….this will be like time #433 of ‘we have to get fit! will you join me working out as I keep this up for 3.5 days? and then bitch that people that work out are idiots, who has time for this shit, no one’s as tired as her and how life just sucks and then blame me for certain things here and certain things there.

Nothing like repeating the same hell over and over hey?

*sips coffee and goes to sit in the gazebo with the pups, at least someone’s using it*

Oh Boy…

So today was a warm one. Also a busy one. All afternoon was meetings. Ugh.

I received a text telling me that she needs to do some walking as at her doc’s appointment, the numbers both weight and blood pressure surprised her. It doesn’t surprise me. After all, I see what goes on….each…day, each week…month and year…

Far from what I’d normally feel, I felt pity for once. Not in a feeling sorry but just a head shaker that she doesn’t want to see what she’s doing on a daily or weekly basis has an impact especially on her health.

We just got back from walking the dogs and was full of complaining and blaming from her about the upcoming weekend she doesn’t want to participate in for her family reunion. Her parents will make fun of her in front of relatives and so on. Great parenting folks…glad you’re not mine. She then blamed ME for staining the deck for us not being able to plant the garden like SHE wanted to. I fired back IMMEDIATELY with “…AND you were in no condition to help anyway…”.. she just went quiet.

With all I do and you’re mad at me? Go sit on it and rotate. Oh and here, have another 26oz of Vodka while you’re at it. I’m sure it won’t add any weight f**khead.

Here’s looking forward to work tomorrow. 😊

Sunday…

So I’m not sure how this entry will turn out but want to get a few things out.

Right now, TMI and for this week is someone’s ‘time of the month’.  Uh huh.  There is always something and though I do believe it is, it doesn’t make excuses for the rest of the time in the year spent being a lazy idiot.

While I was out yesterday doing my various running around trips, either on my own or with a pup, I kept seeing people, couples, hand in hand, or talking, laughing, hell, just being active. Just made me think back to my high school and hell even college days where I would have that ‘longing’ feeling to find someone that I can share my life with.

This time however those thoughts though the feeling was familiar, was to do with how my life has turned out so far with someone I’ve referred to as a pignificant other, the cow, and other mean terms.  Those terms through her behaviour have been just and right in their assessment.  I got home and started looking up the advantages of being married.  While finding quite a few that were OBVIOUSLY written by women, with the ‘use him for warmth’ and other ‘use-isms’, there were others that had a common thread.

You have a partner in crime or have two people on the same team….

Nope. Not here. Anything goes wrong whether it’s her doing or mine or life circumstance, it’s my fault for it and my duty to fix it and NOW.

Someone to celebrate your birthday with.

Not if she’s drunk the whole weekend, decides that when she did ‘take you’ (as I drove) to the arcade as promised, her annoyance with people in general for you know…existing, stopped that treat so that never happened and of cousre then the drinking commenced.

Someone to grow old with.

Trust me, I’m growing old like Obama in office….day by day I swear I’m aging 10.

There were a ton of other ‘advantages’ but each and every one of them I ticked off one by one with a nope, doesn’t do that, won’t do that, would never do that….

It got me depressed. The way I’m currently battling these thoughts are to treat MYSELF and care for MYSELF. I went out for a coffee alone yesterday and armed with my drawing tablet and sat there sipping the iced coffee goodness while drawing on the new tablet. Also ordered myself a case for said tablet for around 15 dollars and just TOOK….MY……TIME….

I’m taking on projects around the house that will only benifit ME though will have some side benifit to her in the way of telling people that WEEEEEE stained the deck this weekend…she must have long arms to be able to stain it from the couch in the house…

I’m not putting a ton of doggy gates up in teh back yard this weekend. I had planned to do a bunch of gates, stain the entire deck, and do other chores but scaled that right back to ‘what do I NEED’ to do for myself. Staining the one level works for me. Since I have no one to help me move the furniture this weekend since she’s ‘indisposed’ and even if she would help, would not help carry the dogs or let them out in the front while things dry, I have to think how can I do this with the least amount of hasstle and pain. So later on once it’s a bit warmer out, I’ll cage the dogs off of the deck where they can run around the yard and enjoy themselves while I, on hands and knees, stain the deck. A photo or two may go on my facebook showing me staining things so someone’s parents can be like ‘where were you?!!’ to her.

So far my tablet is working wonderfully. The battery on it? Streaming to Bluetooth headphones, drawing on it and watching some YouTube? The battery life was around 10 hours. That’s PHENOMENAL and the thing wasn’t even warm!  I can’t wait to have the case and another great thing? It slides nicely into the glove box of the car. I can bring it with me that way.  Oh and the thing charges FAST too. Maybe an hour or hour and a half.

Time to enjoy more coffee in the gazebo that we paid 5 grand for including the furniture. Funny, she has only been out here the day we brought the cushions out..a month ago…since then? On the 3 nice hot beautiful weekends we’ve had? Zero time in it. Instead she’s been holding the house down by her ass on the couch. Funny that she says SHE LOVES the summer and spends all winter saying how she hates winter only for summer to come and her remain on the ass.

 

*sips coffee

Saturday, Mother’s Day Eve

Right now I’m upstairs putting a few things away.  She’s downstairs but actually up and awake. She got up about an hour ago after sleeping in.

I woke up with the dogs at around 830am which is a not too bad time on a weekend for me.  I watched a bunch of shows and YouTube and drank copious amounts of home made coffee (brewed at home that is).

I then cleaned up the pig sty that the kitchen has been (what happened to her keeping the kitchen clean right? uh huh. Strong woman right? Sure).  Once she came down she immediately started setting dirty container lids on the counter as well as a dirty knife with peanut butter on it.  Don’t even THINK of GASP washing it and placing it on the drying towel on the counter next to the sink.

A good thing about her sleep in is that I got to work more on my sketch from yesterday. From snapping a photo for reference for a hand *by grasping around the dog’s torso to mimic a guy’s throat*, I had the reference I could use.  I’m now in the inking process of that drawing. I think it’ll just be black and white with some tones of grey.  I have to go out in a little bit (also want to) to pick up some deck stain so I can do that tomorrow as well as laundry, as well as whatever else around this place.  I will still have my mantra though. Do what I can for ME.  The dishes counted as I just couldn’t take it anymore in the pigsty that was it.  I’m not cleaning her toilet though that she lets get to look like one you’d see on hoarders. Let’s see how long I can leave it and then when she says it needs cleaning, I’ll respond, I know.  I was seeing how long it could be left before you’d take 3 minutes and clean it…

I know I’m a bastard right? Females have been doing chores for men for billions of years. Uh huh.  Slaves right? Uh huh.

Thinking of dad and his market day today hoping that it’s going well. I’ll text him later today.  Also have to package up and send out my mother’s day gift. It’ll be late but then again I’m always late on it.  Not like I have a lot on my plate…

I joked with dad yesterday that the amount of time the wife sleeps, I could get really good at drawing.  He joked that hey maybe then you could tour away from her….LOL!

So glad to be able to talk frankly with people about my life. It really helps get through it.

I think when I’m out, one of my stops will be a coffee shop. And maybe I’ll bring the little ol’ tablet.

Have a great Saturday!!!