So I’m not sure how this entry will turn out but want to get a few things out.
Right now, TMI and for this week is someone’s ‘time of the month’. Uh huh. There is always something and though I do believe it is, it doesn’t make excuses for the rest of the time in the year spent being a lazy idiot.
While I was out yesterday doing my various running around trips, either on my own or with a pup, I kept seeing people, couples, hand in hand, or talking, laughing, hell, just being active. Just made me think back to my high school and hell even college days where I would have that ‘longing’ feeling to find someone that I can share my life with.
This time however those thoughts though the feeling was familiar, was to do with how my life has turned out so far with someone I’ve referred to as a pignificant other, the cow, and other mean terms. Those terms through her behaviour have been just and right in their assessment. I got home and started looking up the advantages of being married. While finding quite a few that were OBVIOUSLY written by women, with the ‘use him for warmth’ and other ‘use-isms’, there were others that had a common thread.
You have a partner in crime or have two people on the same team….
Nope. Not here. Anything goes wrong whether it’s her doing or mine or life circumstance, it’s my fault for it and my duty to fix it and NOW.
Someone to celebrate your birthday with.
Not if she’s drunk the whole weekend, decides that when she did ‘take you’ (as I drove) to the arcade as promised, her annoyance with people in general for you know…existing, stopped that treat so that never happened and of cousre then the drinking commenced.
Someone to grow old with.
Trust me, I’m growing old like Obama in office….day by day I swear I’m aging 10.
There were a ton of other ‘advantages’ but each and every one of them I ticked off one by one with a nope, doesn’t do that, won’t do that, would never do that….
It got me depressed. The way I’m currently battling these thoughts are to treat MYSELF and care for MYSELF. I went out for a coffee alone yesterday and armed with my drawing tablet and sat there sipping the iced coffee goodness while drawing on the new tablet. Also ordered myself a case for said tablet for around 15 dollars and just TOOK….MY……TIME….
I’m taking on projects around the house that will only benifit ME though will have some side benifit to her in the way of telling people that WEEEEEE stained the deck this weekend…she must have long arms to be able to stain it from the couch in the house…
I’m not putting a ton of doggy gates up in teh back yard this weekend. I had planned to do a bunch of gates, stain the entire deck, and do other chores but scaled that right back to ‘what do I NEED’ to do for myself. Staining the one level works for me. Since I have no one to help me move the furniture this weekend since she’s ‘indisposed’ and even if she would help, would not help carry the dogs or let them out in the front while things dry, I have to think how can I do this with the least amount of hasstle and pain. So later on once it’s a bit warmer out, I’ll cage the dogs off of the deck where they can run around the yard and enjoy themselves while I, on hands and knees, stain the deck. A photo or two may go on my facebook showing me staining things so someone’s parents can be like ‘where were you?!!’ to her.
So far my tablet is working wonderfully. The battery on it? Streaming to Bluetooth headphones, drawing on it and watching some YouTube? The battery life was around 10 hours. That’s PHENOMENAL and the thing wasn’t even warm! I can’t wait to have the case and another great thing? It slides nicely into the glove box of the car. I can bring it with me that way. Oh and the thing charges FAST too. Maybe an hour or hour and a half.
Time to enjoy more coffee in the gazebo that we paid 5 grand for including the furniture. Funny, she has only been out here the day we brought the cushions out..a month ago…since then? On the 3 nice hot beautiful weekends we’ve had? Zero time in it. Instead she’s been holding the house down by her ass on the couch. Funny that she says SHE LOVES the summer and spends all winter saying how she hates winter only for summer to come and her remain on the ass.