Here I am, looking, walking and feeling like it’s a Monday. That’s okay because it is!
I made it through yet another weekend. Yay! I did a lot of sketching comparatively to other weekends, most of it using time when the better half was passed out or sleeping in.
I wasn’t sure if she would say something about me basically talking back to her when she said how she was going to bed because she was bored and we weren’t doing anything anyways.
I know she remembers things (so far) when she’s had way too many drinks so know that she would have remembered it. The difference though is instead of giving me more shit (which I’m sure she wanted to including blame ME for her drinking her days away by not being there for her entertainment), she heard and remembered that I spoke back to her. So I may do it again if she broaches that topic? Either way, I was happy to not hear about it yesterday. She spent a lot of time sleeping and then half just being there watching TV.
I’m hoping this week the sketching can continue at lunches, after works, in the evenings and then of course my time on Friday.
Now we dive into the coffee…
I’m sitting here on my second coffee of the morning. The pups are outside and playing a bit. I’m watching some TV and some YouTube and general tidying is being done too while I have laundry going as well.
Again I’m sitting here handling the household duties while the ‘stronger half’ aka woman, is upstairs in bed as she’s just ‘too worried’ about everything (to help?). I’m assuming that it’s part hangover and part lazy and part I will worry myself into a self spiral that nothing will get me out of but at least things will magically get done by my husband though I will take credit for them later when I re-write history on the weekend.
Funny how she’ll tell me that SHE’S bored yet I’m the one doing everything. Maybe she wouldn’t be so bored if she actually did some house stuff around the house she so wilfully demanded we buy?? Of course not, that’s just crazy talk.
Another topic is taking our pup to doggy daycare. I’m okay with it a day a week or so, just something to give him a fun time at a place he can play all day long. Now the better half mentioned this weekend that maybe we should take him many times per week as she feels so bad that he has to be locked up all day. I put my foot down right away on that one. No, we got a dog knowing full well we both work and so I’m not going to basically pay ‘rent’ per month so he ‘doesn’t have to be locked up all day‘….no. Eff to the no lady. IF that’s what you want then YOU can pay it all and YOU can take him and oh yes I know I know…you ‘caaaaaaaan’t do any of that as I’m so much better at doing everything (easy way out am i right?).
What else….I think I’ll do more sketching today as I did yesterday. As much of a shit weekend (for time at home) it has been, I’ve done a surprising amount of sketching so at least that’s been going okay. Time to watch more Supergirl I think. Nothing more that I like than watching a strong woman that is kind-hearted, compassionate, pretty and you know NOT IN PYJAMAS…ahem….
So the wife, after ranting about how she hates everyone on the planet for 2 or 3 hours while drinking more and more and then getting annoyed that I don’t agree with her outlandish statements (as she gets more drunk the statements about how people should just be not allowed to live if they aren’t as responsible as her, have as much money as her and so on and then bringing her outlandish statements about people with kids, how she can’t trust anyone and then back to the tears why she can’t trust any ANY veterinarian because everyone she meets in real life is a moron compared to her)..
She finally went stomping upstairs stating that “I may as well go to bed since we’re not doing anything and it’s boring”..now usually I don’t say anything but tonight I did. I know there is no point arguing with someone who’s two sheets to the wind but I just remarked “well all you’re doing is sitting drinking and watching TV, I’VE been doing things all day”. Now of course she’s upstairs slamming things around like a child. Go ahead. I’ll just make sure you pay for whatever you wreck.
I honestly don’t know how I still get through this crap but manage. I’m not even really frustrated or annoyed especially since I said my peace.
HAH. We aren’t doing anything…okay hun do you want to go out to a movie? For a walk? Change into adult clothes? No?
I think I’ll have another coffee!
So after my frustrating start to the afternoon yesterday, I finally did go grab a coffee and brought out my other tablet to read some comics. That got my mind wandering at least a little bit to where I broke out of that solid constant down state of mind I was in before.
The comics were silly that I read and they seemed to work. I took out the traditional sketchbook next and proceeded to start sketching on the pages of it. I did maybe 5 or 6 girlie sketches which I was happy with albeit they were small tiny sketches. I did a couple others on the tablet too though that was in between the comics and the real sketchbook. So all in all I got a lot of sketching and doodling done which was nice. It made me realize too that perhaps I like pin-up art the most too. Pin ups and scenes to be moments. It’s nice to feel some sort of enjoyment from certain types. I will start by trying to model whatever I draw next (and finish up what I haven’t yet….lol) after the pin up or the scene say a girl in a coffee shop, or a moment on a train or a moment somewhere else but either way a moment that I like or will cause me to put pencil to paper (and stylus to tablet).
Now to sip a coffee and relax before the dishes mountain that’s accumulated through the last two days here…
After continual ranting about her coworkers and how they are such stupid people including the people they are married to, I recieved a text with what she thinks is a compliment?
“After being around so much stupid, i glad I have you”…
Be still my heart thats just bursting forth with romantical feelings…
So am sitting in the secret location where I sit with my tablet and (attempt to) draw and all I’m receiving is non stop texts ranting and ranting and ranting about other people.
Yes I could just not look at my phone but with my drawing time so precious (as it has been for years now), I don’t want to somehow ‘alert’ the person that I do indeed take my drawing time once per week. I have to keep it with and for me for my own sanity. It does suck though to constantly hear the complaining, the same complaining I hear every single day, the same complaining I’ll hear tonight when I arrive home until I go to sleep to have disturbing dreams like I have been this past week…all about loved ones and not good dreams either, ones where some way or another someone dies or is separated from one another…and then waking up to hear it all all over again possibly with the added bonus of someone adding alcohol to the mix therefore upping the anger factor…(and then adding the ‘ilooooooouveyouuuu’ every two minutes to me.
I tell ya, none of this helps at any time to get me in the ‘zone’. That sweet spot where creating things is enjoyable when it’s like constant verbal car wrecks going on right in front of you constantly without end.
Exhausting is the word.
I took off my headphones I had on here for the time being. They are in need of a charging so have them plugged in while I type this up. If I can’t have the zone at least I can have nice loud booming music on these Bose Quiet Comfort headphones. I swear this was a great investment for myself since I used to listen to a ton of music but that too has been eliminated since living with queen of the world. So I continue to be able to do this on my own time, my drawing time, and comic book reading time (which I have on another tablet).
Funny. I don’t ever remember libraries being this LOUD when I was a kid. Kids running around, screaming, no one saying anything, the staff just doing whatever they’re doing, adults talking at full volume and so on…again, glad I have the headphones…
It may be time for a coffee…I need something to feed my brain instead of a diet of angry texting.
My evening last night was an odd throw back.
I arrived home to an angry camper. Yeah, you’d think I’d be used to this by now…but don’t know if it’s healthy to be used to angry so I’ll go with being irritated by anger.
What (this time) was her anger? Being asked and prodded why she has no kids yet and doesn’t want to have any? It turned into the typical rant about how only idiots have kids (now) and how most people have no business having any and everyone should save money instead and enjoy life instead of tossing it away blah blah blah…the typical ranting.
She started being irritated at the state of the kitchen too. I arrived home and she actually said she couldn’t start rice as the rice cooker was dirty. Um pick up a washcloth and soap and wash it? She then went ‘well we won’t be having rice then since it’s not clean’ trying to get a rise out of me. I replied with ‘fine I don’t care’ and went on with my evening.
Eventually she cooled down enough to want to go pick up some you know what in order to sleep better tonight after being so annnnnnnnnnnnnnnngry from everyone else in the world.
I was reminded though of an old friend I had back in my Regina days. She was a pretty good friend. She had an unfortunate pattern. She’d call, I’d go pick her up 3 apartment buildings down (by pick up means go walk to her place and we’d go to a movie or walk around or just visit). I’d arrive in my usual cheery self to an UBER ANGRY pissed off type person. Angry one worded answers and eventually about an hour into the visit it’s like the ice broke and she could be normal and friendly once again. Happened each time without fail. All I thought was what the hell is with that!? At least this spurred more thoughts of all the people I have known throughout the years that I haven’t the slightest clue where they are or what they’re up to now a days. It’s sad that I lost touch but guess it happens sometimes.
Today I’m looking forward to ME time. Drawing, music on headphones, coffees and so on. I can’t wait.