The Almighty ME Complex

I suspect the wife is getting more and more pissed off at me due to the fact that she’s letting ME do the work of the garden and clean up and cleaning all the veggies to store and…and going to get pizza and so on while she’s FEELING ILL FROM THE VERTIGO…and wants me to comfort her HER HER HER…by going to bed early with her (at least tonight would be 8pm instead of 5 something on Thursday night…

Notice what’s going on. Basically she’s not helping out with things, yes she helped pull stuff this morning in the garden but that was the easy part. Soon as there is more it’s in bed all day…feeling ill. Won’t take the pills the doctors say to, will drink alcohol and then acts like I’M not caring for her by not only doing everything I have but everything else too AND MORE…I have to be there for her too to rub her fee….hold her hand through this tough time with her grandfather not doing so well and of course there is her sickness and her worry about the pets dying at any minute and so on….

My question is if were it not for me and doing things FOR myself as in watching shows I like, listening to music, drawing and so on…what would be for ME? That’s right. Absolutely nothing. Well she’s hurting some would say. Yeah well every single day of her life is a different ‘hurt’ somehow and magically if it involves doing work oh it’s even more so.

So I’ll continue to do things for ME and be supportive in the way that I’m taking care of EVERYTHING AROUND HERE…though that doesn’t count and isn’t what a ‘woman’ wants. A woman wants that plus 24/7 huggy huggy kissy kissy make me love life and if you don’t’ then it’s YOUR FAULT I’M NOT ENJOYING LIFE…

*Pass the chips

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More Saturday…

So since the last blog. We picked a ton of carrots and potatoes out of the garden and tore a bunch of stuff up that I still have to put in the garbage. The term being ‘i’. Oh she trumpets the whole time that no one else is this great and no one does a garden because it’s work and so on. Not more than 5 minutes later she feigns feeling dizzy from her vertigo so thus cannot clean any of the carrots, a chore which probably will take 3 or so hours. Fancy that! How can it be such a coincidence that you suddenly feel ill….so i’m washing things for an hour or so and make myself some lunch which I’m eating now. She wakes up from her ‘nap’ on the couch and makes herself a fried egg and mayo sandwich. *waits for you to stop retching* Yes and during that time shes’ making it, she’s ‘breathing heavily’. funny once she went back to her Homer spot on the couch she stopped breathing heavily! Wow it must be a healing couch!

I told her hey if i’m cleaning carrots, I will be taking breaks to draw, have coffees etc. I’ll also watch some shows on my tablet while she watches her bullshit crime shows. The whole bit of ‘I just watch things out of boredom and YOU NEED to start watching your shows on the TV or I’ll just keep watching my stuff’ was proven false (gasp) the other day when I said let’s watch Star Trek the new shows that have come out, and she right away said no I don’t feel like it. Uh huh. Pass the chips.

So yet again today, I’ll do a bunch of stuff, not be too concerned nor caring for anything but my own passage of the day and my own interests and she’ll probably sit there and feel sorry for herself when she drives the whole thing and cook up that it’s somehow MY doing why she’s feeling like a room mate in a marriage.

Screw you.

On with my day!

Saturday Morning Summary

Not a lot to report here.

  1. Very male statement here. I was being a baby yesterday when trying to draw and ‘not having as fun as i wanted to’. Buck up meeself. I’ll keep on it. 🙂
  2. Today we’re pulling up garden stuff. It should be okay and today is absolutely the best beautiful fall day. Breezes and sun and not hot at all. Excellent.
  3. Watched the episode of Quincy and it was indeed informative and good. Thank you my friend!
  4. Someone in the house has decided to stop taking the vertigo pills prescribed to her by her doctor as they make her feel icky the next day. Nothing to do with the straight booze she drinks at the same time though. No that’d be a mere impossible…after all don’t yo know that someone else in the world drinks MORE than her? So therefore OK. (Idiot).

On with my day!

Urgh

Well I’m sitting at Starbucks…and I stopped drawing. Why? The drawing that I’ve been trying to do, just isn’t feeling right. I know I have to tell myself that it’s not cheating but it’s hard to tell yourself that feeling while not having fun drawing either…things just aren’t flowing creatively so then I think okay I’ll just trace the stuff….and well that isn’t fun either…so I said okay fine, I’ll sketch something else instead. So I then tried to sketch random girlies and of course came up empty handed. Just frustrating.

I was at the mall for some food and such. Saw a few folks walking around, one a girl in great shape, like work out shape and it just depressed me. Not because of the one I have but the lack of the working out that made me feel kind of half good about myself, self confidence wise. Not that I was ever mr macho man or anything but just the act of the exercising was the blood pumping, tired out for good kind of exercise *rimshot*. Right now I’m lucky that I can fit in a half hour walk when someone is too pissed to stand and I do like to draw though the days that I’m having right now I may as well be at home listening to someone bitching for all the happiness it’s bringing me this afternoon.

Okay maybe I won’t go THAT far…but it’s certainly not turning out to be an enjoyable drawing time today.

Oh back to the fitness thing. I guess I have control over my own eating and health too so at least ‘trying’ once again (for the 555th time) to eat better could perhaps help? I don’t know. Just annoying.

I think I have an impending feeling that stuff is about to go down and will have to ask the bosses for a day or 3 off to go make the long drive for someone’s funeral so maybe that’s what’s looming over me too…not being done all the work I could be at work though I didn’t stay….I got a BIT of feedback from the one boss but nothing concrete. She wants to send something first thing Monday…and as much as I don’t want to, I may just return to work to do a bit more….though hell, what is an hour and a half of work going to do…okay maybe I won’t head back.

Tonight is going out for ‘her’ birthday to the Japanese bar in the south end. Fine. I’m not sure what though afterward or for the remainder of this weekend. Oh I think we’re tearing up the garden this weekend…and I should be doing some yard cutting too….just in general. Yay excitement hey…

I’m in the mood where I’m irritated, drained by rants, tired out from being woken up and not being able to fall asleep, feeling gross and out of shape and generally slow while I take care of the house at home while someone else fails at life.

Maybe I’ll just go find a spot to go for a walk. Have to stop at the pharmacy first and do a couple other things and then maybe the walk.

A Bit of a Full C**t Press and Some Happy Drawing Time

You know, I got a lot of sleep last night though am still tired today. I KNOW why. I’m exhausted listening to the wife constantly be on fire about her coworker who’s announced she will have her second kid.

And here I thought it was just the ranting about my family and a member of my family having a kid that she went on and on….well no, it’s basically anyone. And the vitriol that she spews for HOURS non-stop about it is what sucks the life out of me, and out of the relationship for sure. Anyone wonder why I don’t go ‘flirty flirty poke poke’??? Well listen to someone bitching for your ENTIRE evening and see if you feel like doing anything except sleeping or running away.

She doesn’t understand the concept that other people HAVE their own lives and have choices in their lives and it’s as simple as that! No one cares what you or anyone else thinks when it’s not to do with YOUR life! IF she’s not ranting about the ‘lesser people’ that she works with from other countries, she complains about her long time coworkers, or new moms, or her boss, or the drivers, or the guy down the street, or the neighbors or my family or her luck or whomever else she can point her judgmental (but incorrect) attitude about.

Sigh.

OKAY now to the fun stuff. So last night after she went to bed early, I spent about an hour drawing on my picture. When my parents came out here, they not only gave me a family heirloom (to me) of my grandpa’s old pinball toy from when he was a child (he was born in 1918) but they brought me two figure drawing figures that are fairly popular in Japan and they managed to find both male and female of them for cheap at a closing out sale so it was super nice that they gave them to me. :D.

While drawing (and tracing), I took the time to pose the figure into the approximate pose I wanted to use in my picture and imported the picture and am using it as my anatomy assist. IT TOO feels like cheating though know that it isn’t. So it was a moment of hrmm if this feels like cheating and the other does, and this isn’t, maybe the other isn’t either? Maybe the point of a drawing can be a story item. What does the drawing tell more than ‘here I traced a photo’. Provided me with good thoughts and did get me out of the cuntpire (vampire?) soul suck from earlier in the evening.

I’m excited to do more on it today though will be working this afternoon to get some work done but will definitely fit my drawing time into my lunch hour today.

Looking forward to it. J

Day one

Well someone went into work today finally. They said that they never slept a wink last night although I know that they were out cold by about 6 p.m.

I know if I went to bed at 6 p.m. I would be up at 1:00 a.m. or so and would not be able to sleep at all since I went to bed so early. 

I know but I’m just being logical here…

I still don’t know what she drank yesterday or what you did yesterday but I do know that she was giving me odd looks for those few minutes before she went to bed and even later on when she did get up she’d look at me with some sort of disgust on her face.

My guess is that she’s looking at me and probably getting angry that I’m not trying to talk to her about this, and then I’m not really showing any concern, besides asking how the day went, how she’s feeling, and other stuff like that.

Or she could just be sitting there with her normal face on too….

So I did ask a little bit this morning of why she thinks that she can’t sleep and her reasoning was that the pills that she was prescribed for her vertigo I have a tendency to possibly upset her stomach? It can’t be the full bottle of rum or the full bottle of whiskey or the full bottle of sake at all either right??? Uh huh.

She usually goes in early on a Thursday 2 to attend a safety meeting that is required and today she just said screw it since other people don’t show up all the time.

Like my best bud said she’s lucky she doesn’t have a bad boss because she would be hauled in many times.

Speaking of my best bud, I’m so sorry that you didn’t get to have a good sleep last night. One of these days though you shall. 

Right now instead of doing dishes and stuff I’m sitting on my butt on the couch watching some YouTube videos with Mr. Meemers by my side and Mister Seemers running around like an idiot… just how things should be.

Let’s see how this Thursday goes.