Worn Like the Sofa at Home…

Worn out.

That is me.

Worn out by the constant noise of someone that will not do a thing to help themselves but instead just project the complaining straight to AT me so that I can absorb it like a sponge after my shields are down from the constant bombardment. Try just TRY to tell the person to not let it bother them and they of course go on ranting more about it yet again. Short of screaming F**KING HANDLE YOUR OWN LIFE F*************************K, I just give short non helpful answers to which they keep ranting on and on and on and on and…

Tonight will be on the way home, grabbing a coffee beverage (again yes, being bombarded so don’t care), stopping by the grocery store on the way home (same parking lot near my work) and listening to funny enjoyable podcasts about Star Trek (The Greatest Generation and The Greatest Discovery).

A good coworker reminded me that tomorrow is FRIDAY…meaning MY Friday again. I’m almost feeling like either an arcade visit is in order or the library to draw will be in order. Both at least will be ALL FOR ME.

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Politics, A New Religion?

There are two things in life I don’t like being a part of. Politics and Religion.

The more I see (some) people in these items, and I mean REALLY into these items the more I think they’re scarily similar.   I will say that I think Religion was first and Politics is an additional form of it.

During lunchtime it was revealed that a lead singer in a band had passed away from terminal cancer. It was then met by this person stating sarcastically and smarmily that ‘good thing (insert politicians name) was in attendance for his last concert”.

My first thought was “nice…real nice…way to be…”

I’ve come to think during my time as an adult that there are folks that NEED church. This person be one of them. Now don’t get me wrong, I find the person GREAT to work with, professional and competent but he’s definitely in my camp of NEEDING church.

I had a conversation with an ex coworker regarding this person we both know and they had this deeper philosophical conversation regarding choices in life and why this ex coworker wasn’t religious. The person that IS religious (and practices it hard core) asked the ex coworker questions like ‘if you don’t follow so and so, how can you be sure you’re making a right decision in life?’ basically concluding that without something to follow that one would be paralyzed out of fear of making the wrong decision. They had a in depth conversation about it and basically the conclusion was that without the guidance of a religious figure, it was too tough for this individual to make decisions that will promise him a fulfilling life (and afterlife).

I had a similar conversation with another ex coworker of mine who was of a different religion too and I had a similar conversation with them too. “Cars need manuals right?” they asked me. I nodded and went “sure okay” and then they proceeded to state unequivocally that then “cars need manuals, and people need manuals”. It was interesting but odd (to me) that it was such a strong tie to something without question in order to live their life.

There have been a great MANY times where this individual (the first one) has brought up so and so’s name in the same scoffing tone and tried to ‘convert’ the people in the room to HIS party that HE votes for and stands behind (seemingly without question).

Now in countries where you’re not allowed to vote and it’s a dictatorship, that’s one thing but in a country where I can vote? I never really do. To me they’re all the same a-hole, all the same type of person, and you know you probably have to be TO WANT TO GO INTO politics…independently wealthy, used to having power and control (probably from being independently wealthy) and think they’re just the person to be a leader.  If there are things that you believe in that this person happens to believe as well and use as their platform then yes I can see why you’d want to vote but to blindly follow and forgive certain agendas and certain lies in order to keep supporting that particular party leads me to draw the conclusion I started this entry with….politics are another form of religion….or at least CAN be to certain folks.

Now I know there are many types of religious people too. There are the ones like outlined above who seem to be at a standstill until they can consult with either their book or their particular belief and not look to make a decision themselves, there are also the ones that go about their business, make decisions and learn lessons and have a conversation with their Lord ANNNNNNND a thousand other types I’m sure.  If I were to be (more) religious than I am (which is very, sadly, not very much though am not cocky enough to think we’re the only life out here and it was just science-y science bing bang boom), I’d find myself in the crowd that makes a decision and then learns.

Now all rambling aside, I wanted to write this entry out of irritation at an individual hijacking the conversation for their own ‘smarmy’ political jabbing of their political devil and then write my thoughts of how with certain individuals, Religion and Politics are very much the same (even though you’re not ‘supposed’ to be worshiping any other item other than your Lord).

I imagine if I asked this individual if they think that both topics are similar I’d get a very strong opinion that they are not…and then walk away with my thoughts confirmed that with that individual???

…they definitely are.

Spirals and Movement

I tend to write my blog entries (the ones not so ranty that is) in the morning soon as I get into work. I figure I’m rested and have had a chance to think of things.

Last night she had had a few. A few more than a few. A few I could not find the source of but a few nonetheless. It was a night where she PTFO while I laid in bed watching the latest Star Trek Discovery episode on my phone. I was thankful for that. Not thankful to her heavy snoring cut to choking on her own drool and so on. Thought of something morbid. Wondered is that how she’ll go? Like a rock star death? Drink, choke, succumb? Totally morbid… sorry folks. Just what I had thought and it’s not like I wanted to have that thought floating around in my head. At least the Star Trek episode was good.

ANYWAY…

I managed to get a bunch of things done last night, cleaned up the garden. She DID actually dig up and wash the rest of the carrots thankfully.  Ironically complaining to me how much work it is….to the guy that did twice as much not more than two weeks ago.  I tidied up some stuff of mine, NOT hers, but mine, and so felt better about the state of some areas of which I had messy from the weekend.

I’m excited for an ex coworker of mine. She started her new job yesterday! I’m so hoping that it turns out good for her as she’s such a gem of a person (not to mention a super capable and thorough type of worker that any place should value).  I can’t wait to keep in touch and see how she likes it there. Never know where a person’s future self will be.

I noticed something too while conversing last night with the S.O. regarding Japan and the language barrier.  She was off on a rant about how SHE should be able to learn the language but that ALAS, she cannot without finding someone to hire to teach her as she’d insist on it that way. She went on saying that she doesn’t know why I KNOW more words than she does as I ONLY know ONE language and that again SHE should know how to pick up a language better and so on….all I got from it is that she wants ONE perfect solution. And if no perfect solution exists, she doesn’t want to try anything else.

So odd how her perfect little way to do things stops her from doing that very thing completely. It paralyzes her. Not only that but other things paralyze her too. Probably part of her problem too why it’s just easy to sit around home and consume instead of live right?

Me, I’m the type of person who will piece everything together bit by bit, word by word, study that way, casually and so on. I’ll continue to do that and be even more fine than I was last time in Japan the next time.  Oh and don’t worry, if she wanted to hire someone to come teach (and be mucho bucks), she’d have to not be wearing pajamas and be presentable and well that requires effort. Can’t do effort when paralyzed.

 

 

Monday, After a Weekend That Was OK?

Well I’m at work. I’m sipping coffee and plowing through things. No matter where I am in my work life, it always has been a nice thing when I can just have my music blaring in a headphone and things to do and tick off a check list. 🙂

This weekend wasn’t bad in that I was able to do things, draw, watch my shows and so on, but doesn’t feel like it was a ‘good one’ simply due to someone else doing their thing as usual. It’s an odd thing to KNOW the weekend wasn’t bad but to feel like something was missing. Oh well, I kept myself busy, entertained myself.

I guess that was where the thoughts creep into my mind even when I say I don’t care, a bit of me is still in the track of ‘this ain’t right’. I’ve done pretty well by chopping or shall I say, compartmentalizing parts of my mind so that I can protect myself against hurt, betrayal, lies and well anything else.

I did enough around the house and decided that what I did was for me and not for us, but more a deposit into the bank of ‘it’s already done so I don’t have to do that too’. I took all the large planter pots, all (counts in head)…15 of them and ripped the plant out, discarded into the wheelbarrow, then chopped up the soil again and returned it into the garden bed in the back yard. After then I wheeled the biodegradable trash 2 blocks out into the open field/field of bushes and dumped it.

I did some life drawing too as well as other sketching but then just found myself losing focus. I think I just wasn’t ‘in the zone’ and as we creatives know, the zone can be what separates a good creative time from a so so or a not so good creative time.

The thought of the one upstairs sleeping the life away (sleeping a hangover off etc) kept creeping into my mind and forcing me to snap out of any creative zone. Apparently I don’t have my brain compartmentalized enough yet…

Thankfully yesterday wasn’t full of the slurry luveuuuuu’s every 2 minutes. That gets massively irritating.

Since the blog is getting more rambly than I’d like, I think it’s a good time to end it. 🙂 (the entry, not the blog!).

Enjoy ze day!

Sunday Morning

So Sunday morning has started out with me doing laundry, me making videos and uploading a couple to the YouTube, me watching and palling with the doggies, me doing dishes, me making breakfast and drinking a couple coffees while watching some videos.

Funny that the only thing missing is the wife. She’s in bed still. It’s nearly 11pm and not long she’ll get up and start ranting once again about how everyone in the world is an idiot and how she wishes she could ‘help out’ today with things but gosh darnit, time o the month. Perhaps I won’t do the garden today either then (maybe I will wait until we are BOTH well enough? Hrmmm? I’m sure that if I do that though, she’ll put it off put it off and put it off some more until it’s too late and then blame the only person in the room, this guy, for wasting her hard earned efforts with the garden this year…she helped plant…nothing else….yeah YOUR garden…riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.)

I find myself being not surprised by the same behaviour that I’m used to with her. I’m just tired out from the same behaviour. I don’t ‘think’ she’ll get sloshed tonight but wouldn’t be surprised if she does.

Anyway, here is a hidden sketch done very sloppily…:)

 


 

Don’t Worry, I Don’t Believe it Either.

Well it’s 7:35pm and I’m hearing ‘i love you’ every 2 minutes as she passes out and wakes up again. Her excuse for things this weekend is that she has her ‘feminine’ time. So convenient to have everything as excuses. Sucks to be a man eh?

Tomorrow we’ll be clearing out the garden…yes WE WILL…uh huh. Don’t worry, I don’t believe it either.

Tonight it was a McDonald’s supper. I took the old pup for the ride and he enjoyed that.

I suspected that someone had more than just a few beer as when I returned from going out the time before suddenly someone starts talking more dirty about tmi things. I checked her account while on my Surface over here and indeed I was right…there have been multiple purchases lately after she leaves work the hour or two early she does since altering her work week ‘for the puppy’ (so the pup would have less time to have to hold it…) but don’t worry, I don’t believe THAT either.

I’ve done a few cleaning things today, not doing a ton as it’s just me doing the cleaning while she sits there while sober talking shit about her coworkers and others, or drinks and gets tipsier and tipsier thus transitioning to dirty talk and the ‘i love yous’ every two minutes. All while sitting on the ass and watching boring TV. She is very close to PTFO for the night though. May it speed up and free me from being irritated from it.

Don’t worry though, I’m good. I have had an enjoyable day albeit it what I’ve done and what I’ve put up with. Time to do more drawing (and have me a coffee!)

The Saturday Blog

Here I am on the Saturday. Listening to you know who yap and yap and yap….while watching her garbage. I’m at the end of the kitchen table with my Surface and about to go out for a short walk to check the mail and perhaps stop at the close convenience store to grab an ice cream sandwich.

I went out for a bit earlier to the Asian market and to gas up ‘her’ car as she’s crippled right?

I did have an interesting run in with a guy who approached me once I was done pumping the gas asking “excuse me sir can you help….” Before he finished I said a firm “No.” and he immediately got pissed (‘I’m used to people trying to bum off others) and raised his voice saying “why not!?!?! I’M SO F**KING FRUSTRATED!!!!” I go “well what do you want then?” he answers “I WANT MONEY!!!!” and so I looked the guy right in the eye and with raised voice also (equally raised), I said “Hey buddy, I get to work for ASSHOLES EVERY SINGLE DAY”…that seemed to suffice…I was ready to talk more with the fella but he went onto his next target.

I think when I come back from the walk to get the mail and the ice cream, that I’ll continue drawing with headphones on (or at least one in, just like at work) and just enjoy the day.

Waves to best buddy*